Meaty: essays

At 30 --

Awkward first date --

I really don't eat this much salad! --

Forest Whitaker's neck --

Sorry I shit on your dick --

Black beauty --

My mother, my daughter --

I want to write your mom's Match.com profile --

The skillet --

This is why I'm poor --

Thumbsucker --

Milk and oreos --

The triplets --

Massive wet asses --

How to get your disgusting meat carcass ready for some new, hot sex --

Would dying alone really be so terrible? --

The terror of love --

The tapeworm diet --

Skin rashes and arthritis --

The many varieties of hospital broth --

I want to put a fat bitch on network television --

Elena Tyler. Aka: Why I can't be mad at Lena Dunham --

Bitches are my jam --

A bearded gentleman --

I should have a car with power windows by now --

Le foods.