Ain't misbehavin': tactics for tantrums, meltdowns, bedtime blues and other perfectly normal kid behaviors

PARENTING PRIMER. Belonging

Encouragement

Family fun

Family meetings

Firm and friendly

Four dances of misbehavior

Mutual respect

Natural and logical consequences

Never do for a child what a child can do for herself

Punishments and rewards are old school

Respect

Take time for training (TTFT)

THE CLASSICS: A DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO OVERCOMING THOSE TYPICAL TRIALS. Sulking

Whining

Crying

Cheating

Lying

Tantrums

SLEEPING: THE DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO GETTING WEE ONES TO WINKY LAND. Won't fall asleep unless parent lies with them

Wakes every few hours during the night

Crawls into your bed at night

Night terrors and nightmares

Afraid of the dark

Comes out of room after being tucked in

POTTY TRAINING AND THE DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO TOILETING. Holds bowels

Will only move bowels in a pull-up

Refuses diaper changes

Won't use public toilet

Accidents at playdates

Won't use the school washroom

Still pooping pats at age six, seven, eight or, yikes! nine

Still wetting bed at age seven (eight or nine)

Refuses to wipe

Refuses to wash hands

FRETTING OVER FOOD: THE DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO ENDING FOOD FIGHTS. The pokey eater

The food strike

Overeating

The picky eater

Will eat only if in front of the TV

Gags or spits food out

Won't give up the bottle

FROM TROUGH TO TABLE: THE DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO TABLE MANNERS. Won't set the table when it's their job

Won't come to the table when called

Gets up and down from the table

Who invited Tom Foolery to the table?

Talks with mouth full

Refuses to clear plate

Toys at the table

SOCIAL SKILLS: THE DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO SOCIALIZING YOUR LITTLE BARBARIAN. Won't say hello

Won't say "please" and "thank-you"

Won't kiss grandparents

Tells your company to go home

Potty-mouth

Curses and swears like a sailor

Rude, rude, rude

Spitting

Gives attitude and tone

Doesn't play with friends invited over

You hate your child's friends

Has no friends

You think your child is being bullied

Your child is a bully

HEALTH< HYGIENE AND HIGH FASHION: THE DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO MANAGING ONE'S BODY. Won't brush teeth

Refuses hair brushing

You can never get the ponytails right

Hates water and getting in the tub

Will only wear one favorite pair of pants... and they're dirty

Refuses to wear socks

Won't take medicine

Sticks hands in dirty diapers

Disagreements about wardrobe

Won't get dressed

Won't put on pajamas at bedtime

BAD HABITS: AND THE DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO BREAKING THEM. Hair twirling

Hair sucking

Masturbating tots

Nose picking

Thumb sucking

Love objects

Pacifier dependence

Loves eating glue, playdough, etc.

BEDROOM BRAWLS: AND THE DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO SETTING SPACE ISSUES. Won't make bed in the morning

Won't put clothes in the laundry hamper

Won't let sibling into bedroom

Won't let you in bedroom

Destroys bedroom during time-outs

Writes on walls

Siblings share a room, but they're the odd couple

THE PLUGGED-IN KID: THE DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO MANAGING THE WIRED WORLD. Inappropriate TV viewing

Addicted to gaming

Acts aggressively after watching violence

Disregards screen-time limits

Wants a cell phone

SCHOOL 101: THE DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO ACADEMIC AND SOCIAL ISSUES AT SCHOOL. Has poor grades

Doesn't pay attention in class

Homework hell

Doesn't care about school or the subject matter

Hates the teacher

Always late for school

Switching schools

They're autocratic, we're democratic

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES: THE DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO MANAGE THE ANGST. The overscheduled child

The dropout kid

Goes to lessons but won't practice

KIDS AND COINS: THE DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO MONEY MATTERS. Mommy, but this is for me! ("Dammit" implied)

Complaining about the amount of allowance

Savings or "slavings?"

Loses money

SIBLING FI

GHTING: THE DEMOCRATIC APPROACH TO ENDING IT. Sibling fighting cheat sheet

Fighting in the car

Mommy, he stole my toy!

Can't or won't?

The physical factor: when siblings physically fight

My toddler is too rough with the baby

Name-calling and being mean

Is jealous

THE BEST PRACTICES DEMOCRATIC FAMILY CHECKLIST.